Your momma is so good at gardening... Her fingers are all green.

Your momma's so good at chopping vegetables... She dices them with a tolerance of +-.01 cm
Your momma is so good at showering… She is clean before the water hits the floor.
Your momma’s teeth are so white… I’d strap her to the hood of my car to be my high beams.
Your momma’s fingernails are so clean… When she does surgical operations, she doesn’t need to wear rubber gloves.
Your momma smells so good… I’d sit her on a shelf as an air freshener.
Your momma’s skin is so sooth… When she dives in a pool she always hits her head on the bottom.
Your momma is so good at showering… She doesn’t even need soap.
Your momma’s teeth are so white… You can’t look her directly in the face.
Your momma’s fingernails are so clean… She could scratch a mosquito bite for hours, and it would never get infected.
Your momma smells so good… When she walks by you can taste flowers.
Your momma’s skin is so smooth… Her terminal velocity when skydiving is twice that of a normal person.
Your momma’s teeth are so smooth… She can’t chew gum, because it always slides out of her mouth.

Your momma is so good at driving... She's an accident NOT waiting to happen.
Your momma is so good at driving... She gets a rebate every year for not having any speeding tickets.
Your momma is so good at driving... She can do a 3-point turn in 2-points.
Your momma is so good at driving... Her face is on the NASCAR trophies.
Your momma is so good at driving... Even squirrels have a chance.
Your momma is so good at driving... Bugs have plenty of time to avoid the splat.
Your momma is so good at driving... She should drive a school bus.
Your momma is so good at driving... Backseat drivers have nothing to say.
Your momma is so good at driving... Her license has perpetual renewal.
Your momma is so good at driving... She doesn't even need insurance.
Your momma is so good at driving... When she takes a cab, the driver gets in the back.
Your momma is so good at driving... She uses a sand wedge on a par five.
Your momma is so good at driving... She is allowed to turn left on red.
Your momma is so good at driving... Toll booths pay her.
Your momma is so good at driving... She has the safe driver deductable from Allstate since she has never been in an accident.
Your momma's car has such low milage... It's negative.
Your momma looks so good when she is driving... Her windows look like they ust be tinted beautiful.

Your momma's so sharp... She could pop a whoopie cushion.
Your momma is so patient... She would wait an hour at a drive-thru window.
Your momma is so resourceful... All the world's computers are set up to go directly to her desk instead of Google.
Your momma's so fresh... You could snap her wrist like a celery stalk.
Your momma's so unique... Ripley's didn't even believe it.
Your momma's so fine... Bic wants her to be their next gel pen.
Your momma is so healthy... The Red Cross is selling her blood on the black market.
Your momma is such a good cook... She can make minute rice in 5 seconds.

Your momma‘s so lucky... Leprechauns come from all around just to rub her head.
Your momma’s so strong... She can juggle cinder blocks.
Your Momma’s so relaxed... People no longer say “cool as a cucumber”, instead they say “cool as your momma”.
Your momma is so generous... She gave away all her belongings and sleeps under a bridge.
Your momma is so punctual... The NIST sets their clock by her.
Your momma is so careful... She puts one leg in her pants and then looks both ways before putting the other one in.

Your momma is so smart… I’d use her as my phone a friend.
Your momma is so good at martial arts… Her hands are registered as lethal weapons.
Your momma is so good with money… She bought her first house with cash money.
Your momma’s skin is so soft… It rivals that of a babies butt.
Your momma is so good at acting… Her husband really thinks she loves him.
Your momma is so good at chess….Then now carve her face on the queen piece.

Your momma is so good at video games... She always starts on the most difficult setting.
Your momma is so good at searching Google... She always uses the "I'm feeling lucky" button.
Your momma is so good at quantum mechanics... She always knows what state Schroedingers cat is in.
Your momma is so good at Moral Kombat... She can get a Fatality on the first move.
Your momma's credit is so good... Her credit score is 850.
Your momma is so good at grammar... She can point out the subject and verb in any sentence.

Your momma makes bread so fresh... When you taste it you'll think you went back in time.
Your momma is so nice to homeless people... She gives them money if they don't even ask for it.
Your momma is so good at physics... She can calculate the gravitational pull of an object just usig it's mass.
Your momma's voice is so beautiful... If Kelly Clarkson hadn't cheated, she would have won American Idol.
Your momma's floors are so clean... You can eat off of them.
Your momma's eyelashes are such a perfect lenth and thickness... You can't even tell when she is wearing mascara.
Your momma is so thoughtful... She sends a card to everyone she knows on their birthday.

Your momma's dog is so well behaved... It never barks at strangers.
Your momma smells so good... Calvin Klein wanted to make a new scent for her called CKMom.
Your momma is so good at programming... She can impliment multiple inheritence in c#.
Your momma is so good at watching TV... She never misses an episode of her favorite shows.
Your momma is so good at dancing... ABC just signed her for a new show 'Dancing with your momma'.

Your momma's car is so fuel efficient... She gets over 200 miles per gallon.
Your momma is so good at finding a job... Her resume is blank.
Your momma is so good at Xbox... Her gamerscore is 460,003.
Your momma is so good with people... She remembers everyones name after meeting them only one time.
Your momma is so perfectly proportioned... Everything she wears looks fantastic.

Your momma is so funny... She won last comic standing without even competing
Your momma is so wonderful... When people talk about Mother Theresa they just descirbe her as 'Your mom'
Your momma is so good at drivng... She has never received a single speeding ticket.
Your momma is so good at typing... She can type over 150 words per minute.
Your momma is so good at cooking... They published a cookbook for her called 'The joy of your momma'
Your momma skin looks so young... Plastic surguons extract Botox from her.

Your momma is so smart… she graduated with a 4.0 GPA.
Your momma is so good at karate… she is where Chuck Norris learned it.
Your momma is so good with money… she puts 15% of her check into a 401k every week so she can retire at 50.
Your momma's skin is so smooth… Oil of Olay asked her to be in their next commercial.
Your momma is so good at acting… She was almost cast for the show ‘24’, but they would have had to change the name to ‘12’

Your momma is so good at chess... She can beat Jesus in only one move.
Your momma is so computer savvy... She got Windows Vista running on a 286, with Aero.
Your momma is so clean... When she walks her legs squeek.
Your momma is so good at doing laundry... She never gets a red sock in with the whites.
Your momma is so polite... She always says please and thank you.